You know what sucks? How just... impossible it is to find the right people, in the right place, at the right time, for the right thing. 

​

It's basically impossible for me to meet people I'm interested in, at least in real life. Or even anybody, period. 

In so many ways, I'm so burned out, I don't even know how to go about it anymore .

Dating sites, whatever social sites, I can't even make basic contact with anybody. And if I do get responses, it's always from someone who has zero appeal to me. It's like, for fuck's sake, man.

But on roleplaying sites, I can always get responses from cool people. Of course, they're just never from my neck of the woods, and regardless, you're not supposed to look for hookups or fuckups or whateverups on roleplaying sites, 'cuz that's not what they're for. (Hence why I'm burying this on an external website and hope I don't get in trouble for that...)

​

The fuck do I want... I know exactly. Some kind of... deeper connection, when it comes to friendship. But something that's also more than friendship (well, "more" in the sense that it's not platonic). But it has to be with someone looking for that same connection. Open to it. And open to it with me. 

​

I just don't know if I have the energy to be interesting right now. 

I had this whole elaborate scheme in mind. Show my personality through some essays, talk about my interests, try to garner some interest that way. Get in shape so I can have some sexier pics. idk.

That's gonna be a ways off. I barely even have the energy to write *this*. 

​

So. I guess this is an earlybird attempt. Just to see. To throw it out there. See if maybe someone is interested in the concept 

​

Ok, so what am I talking about?

​

Friendship, connection, nudity.  

​

Okay. This is shallow. Sue me, criticize me, hate me... I guess that does matter to me right now.

I want to meet someone who looks like a porn star. Just... someone ultra hot that wants to be my friend. 

And will let them see them naked. >.>;;

Look, don't @ me, I'm not harassing anybody over it. I'm just fantasizing and wishing it would come true. 

I actually *did* meet a roleplay partner that sent nudes of themselves, and that was frickin' jawesome. It's part of why I decided to search for someone else like that... proved to me there's just exhibitionists out there who might be down for it. 

I kinda wished it went further... I always kinda wanted someone to chat with live on webcam who didn't mind being naked. (I'd be naked too if they wanted... though, at the moment I'm kind of a hypocrite since I don't have a hot bod, but whatever...) Just to chat. Maybe while roleplaying. Doing friend stuff. Hanging out like we would as friends if we knew each other in person. (If anybody lives in Minnesota... hit me up. Or even close enough to someday make a roadtrip visit feasible. idk.)

I'm not expecting everything right away. Just... something. Someone interested in exploring possibilities. I'm pretty confident in my worth as an intimate friend in the long run. It's just actually getting over theat initial hump of finding anybody else willing to explore it that has me in despair.

​

So yeah. Uh. If you see this and want to talk about it. Feel free to contact me. Preferably if you have discord and we can discuss it there. Or over e-mail. You can write mine at oceanicvalkyrie@gmail.com if you'd like to contact me directly through there. Or PM in on the roleplaying site. Just be explicit you are interested in this.

 

​

​

Maybe I'll put more here later, but... for a preliminary water testing, I think that'll be fine for now.